Sunday, September 25, 2011

Star Traveler Update - Nightmares

I was lying in a field of grass spotted with fragrant wild flowers. Attalla was leaning over me and I raised my hands to run my fingers through the curly, black hair on his chest. He smiled down at me and pulled me up into his arms.

Then everything went nasty. I heard the material at the back of my shirt rip and felt a forked tongue slide up the side of my throat. I pulled back and it was Klaid. He had his knife in his hand. He smiled at me showing his fangs. I screamed and struck out at him. I couldn’t get away. He had me firmly gripped in his massive hands.

“It’s okay. Easy there,” Attalla soothed. “It’s just a dream.”

I woke up struggling against Attalla. We were in the lounge and he must have pulled me into his lap during my nightmare, because he had his arms wrapped around me.

“Is she all right?” Ma-rye-a asked in a worried tone.

“She’s been having these nightmares since she returned from Ukhra. There was…”

I cut Cassie off. “Cassie, silent mode.” Cassie’s program instantly went quiet. “Ma-rye-a, attend to your ship’s duties,” I said dismissively.

“As you wish, Captain,” Ma-rye-a answered in a shallow voice.

“They were just worried about you,” Attalla said.

I scooted out of his lap. As much as I would have liked that earlier in the evening, in the mood I was in now, I needed to be alone. How could I have fallen asleep during the vid? This was embarrassing.

“I am sorry,” I said.

“No need to apologize,” Attalla countered. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” I answered a little too loudly. “I will see you in the morning.”

I tried my best to keep from crying before I was out of his sight. I literally ran to my quarters. I fell on the bed, my body still shaking from the after affects of the nightmare. I buried my head in my pillow to muffle the noise of my sobbing. I hated the dreams. They were so real. So vivid. So haunting.

I could seek out an Antar. They could rid me of the memories associated with Klaid, but that would mean that I would lose those memories of Jake and Arr’s caring gestures and the growth of our friendship that came from being caught in those days with Klaid. I would lose the recovery time, the imagining chamber trip to Olympus and Jake’s fumbled pass. I wasn’t willing to give up that closeness we had experienced. That connection.

I pulled my body into a tight fetal position and cried myself to sleep.

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